Why I wasn't afraid to go on exchange, but am afraid to go home,

When I first realised that I wanted to go on exchange, I immersed myself in research. First, I frantically read about all the countries I was interested in going to. At that point I had two requirements, I wanted to go to Europe and I wanted to learn a new language. I chose France but I was too old to go there and I had only two options: Belgium or not to go. At the time, I didn’t know much about Belgium other than stereotypes, including beer drinking as well as the chocolates and french fries. The next few months were spent convincing my parents about all the reasons why it would be beneficial for me to participate in an exchange year. I scoured the internet for blogs where they could read about how fast other exchange students learned the language, immersed themselves in the culture, and what the benefits of an exchange were for them later in life. I guess you could say that I was obsessed with reading about other people’s experiences.

When it was time to fly to Belgium I was buzzing with excitement. I couldn’t wait to meet my new family and see my new home. Although I was excited, I wasn’t nervous. I had read in other exchange student’s blogs how you should have no expectations about your host country or family. I tried really hard not to expect anything, or have any ideas or plans on how my exchange year should be. I was completely open to new experiences. This lack of expectation for my exchange year helped with my nerves, and I think really helped me fit into with my host family and the country.

Now I’m already 10 months into my exchange. I’ve made myself a life in Belgium with a new friend group, family, language, and culture. One of my biggest obstacles in my exchange year was the language. At the beginning, I was so frustrated with myself because I wanted to speak and understand Dutch so badly, and I felt as if I wasn’t learning it quickly enough. I made a lot of effort and  now, I understand almost everything, and while I still have problems with grammar I can speak my mind. Overcoming the language barrier was the last obstacle for me in feeling at home in Belgium.

The last few months here have been amazing, I’ve really settled into my life. Sadly, however, it´s all slowly coming to an end. Two days later I will fly back to Malaysia. And I’m honestly so afraid. I feel like I’ve forgotten how my life was in Malaysia, and what my friends and family are like. I’ve forgotten how I act around my friends and family and feel like I’ve changed so much since coming to Belgium that people in Malaysia may not recognise me anymore. I have so many expectations for what life will be like again in Malaysia, how my friends will act, and how the food will taste, that even though I’ve lived in Malaysia for my entire life I still am afraid for what awaits me at home.

This exchange year has been wonderful and I would gladly repeat the experience. It has taught me a lot about the power of expectations and how they can affect a person’s life and ability to start from scratch all over again. Hopefully, everyone can learn about the power of expectations from my adventure in Belgium.